Sie and du: the German ways to say you

The forms, at a glance

du · ihr · Sie · sie (3rd person)

Why this is culture, not only grammar

The choice marks closeness or distance. Grammar pages describe that split. Dictionaries list who each form addresses. The same English word "you" is not enough.

The familiar forms: du and ihr

Duden’s entry for du calls it a pronoun. Sense 1 is an address to relatives or trusted people and to children, to God or divine beings, often to colleagues, and sometimes to guests in a restaurant. It can also address things and abstract ideas as if they were people. Duden’s grammar line is: personal pronoun, 2nd-person singular nominative. [1]

When du is used as a noun, Duden lists capital letters in phrases such as "das vertraute Du" and "jemandem das Du anbieten". Unofficial English translations: "the familiar Du"; "to offer someone the Du". In letters, Duden says du may be written with a capital or a small letter. [1]

Grammis, the grammar information system of the Leibniz Institute for the German Language (IDS Mannheim), groups du and ihr as hearer pronouns and adds a distance form Sie. It says hearer pronouns split along familiarity (du) versus distance (Sie). The table lists du as the singular familiar form and ihr as the plural familiar form. A hearer pronoun as subject takes 2nd-person verb forms: du gehst, ihr geht. [2]

The official spelling rules on grammis say du and ihr, and the matching possessives dein and euer, are written with small letters. In letters, those forms may also take capital letters. [3]

The distance form: Sie

Duden’s entry for the address pronoun Sie gives the meaning "förmliche Anrede". Unofficial English translation: "formal address". The spelling examples call it the polite address to one person or to several people, of any gender: "kommen Sie bitte!"; "jemanden mit Sie anreden". [4]

Grammis calls Sie the distance form, also named "Höflichkeitsform" (unofficial English translation: "politeness form"). It uses one set of forms for both singular and plural reference, and it always takes the 3rd-person plural of the verb: "Hören Sie mir zu!" [2]

The spelling rules on grammis say the address pronoun Sie and the matching possessive Ihr are always written with a capital letter. Examples include "Würden Sie mir helfen?" and "Wie geht es Ihnen?" [3]

Deutsche Welle’s grammar page on Sie says unknown adults are addressed with Sie first. It also lists formal situations such as a visit to a doctor or an office. It states that the formal address is the same in the singular and the plural, and that it is always written with a capital letter. Another Deutsche Welle note says relatives, friends, children or other people a speaker knows more closely are addressed informally with du, and that an unknown adult, or a person due respect such as a police officer or a teacher, is addressed with Sie. [5] [6]

Who uses which form (source facts only)

- Duden describes du as the form for relatives or trusted people and for children, and often for colleagues. - Grammis describes ihr as the familiar plural hearer form. - Duden describes Sie as formal address. Grammis calls it the distance form. Deutsche Welle lists unknown adults and formal settings such as a doctor’s office. - Sie is written with a capital letter and takes a 3rd-person plural verb, for one addressee or for several.

Spot the form

Each card shows a line from the cited grammar pages. Flip it to see which "you" is at work.

Card front	Card back	Source
du gehst	du: familiar singular; 2nd-person singular verb	grammis [2]
ihr geht	ihr: familiar plural; 2nd-person plural verb	grammis [2]
Hören Sie mir zu!	Sie: distance form; 3rd-person plural verb, for one person or several	grammis [2]
Würden Sie mir helfen?	Sie and Ihnen written with capital letters	grammis spelling [3]

Where learners meet it

cross-link: https://cultedge.org/languages/german

FAQ

1. Is Sie only for several people? No. Duden and Deutsche Welle describe the same formal form for one person and for several people. Grammis says the distance form takes the 3rd-person plural verb in both cases. [4] [5] [2]
2. Is du only for family? Duden’s sense 1 lists relatives or trusted people and children, and it also lists colleagues and, at times, guests in a restaurant. [1]

What this page does not say

• It does not say that German speakers are distant or unusually polite.
• It does not tell a learner which form to choose.
• It does not rank Germany, Austria, Switzerland or other German-speaking places.
• It does not treat Sie as outdated or du as new. The sources are not dated that way here.

Sources

1. Duden, "du". https://www.duden.de/rechtschreibung/du
2. grammis (Leibniz-Institut für Deutsche Sprache), "Sprecher- und Hörer-Pronomen". https://grammis.ids-mannheim.de/systematische-grammatik/399
3. grammis, "2.5 Anredepronomen und Anreden" (§ 65–§ 66). https://grammis.ids-mannheim.de/rechtschreibung/6197
4. Duden, "Sie" (address pronoun). https://www.duden.de/rechtschreibung/Sie_Anrede
5. Deutsche Welle, Learn German, "Personalpronomen: Sie". https://learngerman.dw.com/de/personalpronomen-sie/l-40364699/gr-40377679
6. Deutsche Welle, Learn German, "Die Höflichkeitsform „Sie“". https://learngerman.dw.com/de/die-h%C3%B6flichkeitsform-sie/l-67262007/gr-67267018

Links last checked: 2026-10-28

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